Friday, June 08, 2007

Insomnia or just avoidance behavior

I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to go to sleep -- ever. Its 12:15 in the AM, I'm supposed to be to work at 9, check out some friends at the TT at 8, drive to state college tomorrow evening to race 50 miles off-road on Sunday, and not only have I not eaten dinner yet, but there is a bike that needs cleaned and some bags that need packed. I do this a lot. I'm up late ALL the time. 3 am last night, 2 am the night before... I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Mom would tuck me in and turn off the lights and as soon as that door closed I'd turn on the flashlight, hide under the covers, and read for hours until I fell asleep with the flashlight on and the book on the pillow. This burned up a lot of batteries by the way.

Its not that I physically can't sleep, it's that I'm not interested in going to bed (but man do I love to sleep once I'm there). And its not as if anything overly stimulating has to be happening in that space between my ears to keep me up either. Anything that distracts me from going to bed is enough - changing some stuff around on the blog is the culprit this time. At the same time I don't find these hours to always be productive (though its not unusual for me to build training for my athletes this time of day). It could just as easily be that I'm trying to figure out the solution to the Rubik's cube, which is really useful since I don't even have a Rubik's cube. Too bad I can't use this time for good. Curing cancer. World peace. Hell, Kris would be happy if I'd just clean the house.

No comments: