Friday, October 24, 2008

More Unbelievable Cuteness

Kris is feeding the little screaming teradactyl while I'm typing away. You'll likely be glad to know he seems quite healthy. His lung capacity is improving greatly judging by volume of air he must be moving to make sounds that freakin' loud. I say you'll be glad to know since everyone keeps asking me how much sleep I'm getting and then seems to be disappointed with the response that its not been THAT bad. Yet. I'm in the feeding rotation now, pretty much pinch feeding still, but getting in the line-up more and more.

I promised week 2 pics and seeing as we've blown right by week 3 and into week 4 here they are.

Gotta keep it short. Was planning to rail on our secessionist VP candidate - at least I'm pretty sure she's thinking it would be best to split our country up, but Ray's on his way out to do some work on team stuff for next season. I mean people just sponsors our team and events because we're nice guys, not because we work our asses off for it. I'll have to rant later. Besides that little bit I mean.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Monday, October 13, 2008

Braden Week 1 According to Kris

I had an album ready to go last week but Kris made me take all the gratuitous boob shots and pics where she looks like she's been in labor for 25 hours out before I put it on the web. You saw some of these in the last post, but there are a couple new ones too. Week 2 pics coming soon. No, he's not talking yet. Or riding a bike.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Welcome Home

We got us something new here at the recently opened Chez Kuhn in north Bethlehem. Cable TV!! Yep, I've never ever had cable before. I know, hard to believe but absolutely true! Well, except the time that we stole it from the TV lounge at the end of the hall in college and spliced it into our triple for the Super Bowl, which of course was really just an excuse to whip out a reciprocating concrete drill bit and mess up some concrete block.

C'mon now, the really great new bit here is Braden Michael Kuhn!!

Boo seems to think that we've brought home a baby pterodactyl as Braden's call for his hourly feedings sends Boopers running for his hiding place in the basement ceiling. Bear however is handling our new addition surprisingly calmly.

I'm pretty blown away by the whole thing and I definitely have a new hero

Kris's water broke at 4:30AM last Monday morning and Braden came along at 5:44AM on Tue morning. Kris was damn tough through it all and of course is still bearing the brunt of the whole thing yet continues to look and be amazing even with the tiny bit of sleep Braden is allowing her.

Here's me and Braden just enjoying some downtime, plus I had to get some in here based on contractual obligations.

And finally the whole family just before heading home last Thursday.

Cable brought internet at home too which is a nice thing to have again and means I'll have to put up lots more stuff about the baby and all the good things that he's bringing into our lives such as lots poop, hiccups, crying and, my personal fav, big boobs.

As an aside, Bear added his own drama to the week by getting a big nasty abcess on his face from an infected tooth that he proceded to rip open in an eruption of nastiness all over the house.

Don't panic, none got on the baby.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Change is good

I went dark for a long time there didn't I? Hell, where have I been? Last weekend I was reminded by my one faithful reader that I haven't posted in a while. Makes the whole blogging thing really lame if you don't post. Of course, if you don't have anything to say then all you end up with is some an even more lame ass blog that works well for insomniacs but should be kept far from anyone with suicidal tendencies. The ol' mad libs blog just doesn't get me excited and damn if I can keep anything that's amusing to me in my head long enough to write about, though perhaps this will change with our impending arrival. Of course, many of you likely already know all about what is about to happen to us and a lot of you, probably like me until about 9 months ago, probably won't relate real well. As usual, I don't give a rat's ass and you'll get what you get.

One of the last times I checked in was my trepidatious venture through the aisles and dark recesses of Babies (backward) "R" Us. Since then one of the two of us on that quest has become a good bit more pregnant. And no, contrary to my on and off again commentary about my apparent objective be bigger than ever, it ain't me. I've suggested that when yet another perfectly well meaning but ultimately annoying stranger asks "Are you pregnant??" Kris just respond, "No, I'm smuggling a basketball you friggin' jackass."

New house in between then and now too and some associated "to dos" with that which so far haven't included severe electrical burns. However, the day isn't over either and no one should doubt my ability to completely jack myself up. Had a lot of help with the move from good friends and said goodbye to Ry who is now well ensconced in the deep south and who I've done an absolutely horrid job of catching up with since his departure. Sorry Ry.

Work is work, like they say, there is a reason they pay you for it. Never enough, but they do pay. I do get to hang out at most of the MAC races this time of year for Cadence and get my ass kicked in cyclocross instead of mountain biking for a few months so that does sort of make work cool. I'll likely post some mad libs blogs about the 'cross thing...brace yourselves or just go read some other racers blog and insert names like Yozell, Adams, Kelly, Strickland, Hebe, Colin, Woody, Pagoda, Wes, Linda, Jose, Andy instead of the ones they list and it'll be almost verbatim.

Speaking of names we don't have one picked out yet so please don't ask Kris that either you perfectly well meaning person you. Barrah, Coe, Rax, and Tye have come up as suggestions (just add Kuhn) and of course pop culture references such as Stan, Eric, Kenny, Kyle, and Butters were briefly considered too, but nah. We have about a dozen we're considering. Right after we know he'll know and then you'll probably find out before too long. Oh yea, we did buy a fancy pants new digital video recorder so you'll probably see him too since it was definitely a business expense for the races and I'll need to use it for the blog.

So to recap since we last saw each other, I've been thinking about Jr's impending arrival and doing stuff. I coulda saved a lot of blog space and your precious time...

I guess we're as ready as we're gonna be which is a good thing. We're celebrating 5 years of married life tomorrow and this weekend is quite likely our last one as a couple for what I hope is a long, long time.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Release me

I've got 'em all right now. Excitement. Apprehension. Stress. Frustration. Its one of the things I look forward to most each year and dread the most at the exact same time. Only a few days to go and I'm confident we'll do it well as its gone well before, but I still stress and don't get sleep over it because I want it be better in some way every year. The release will come on Sunday evening when we can sit back and reflect on the weekend and I'm looking forward to it and a weekend well done.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Register that thing

So, I like to think that I'm pretty able to figure stuff out. I'm not always the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I ain't the butter spreader either. I've figured out I'm about to be pretty screwed tho.

I was a bit ill last week with a fun bus ride (bus is slang for ambulance, try and keep up) to the ER; a bunch of tests; a little bit of "we don't know what's wrong with you" and some "go home and rest it'll probably get better and if it doesn't maybe stop back by or something." Couple this with the my astonishing performance in OH at the hundr'd last weekend and the six or seven times I quit the sport completely during those 10 hours and I wasn't much for riding.

Kris thought she'd cheer me up with a bit of shopping. This almost always does the trick for a quick pep. First up was the "Quest for New Furniture!!" Nothing like a quick drive in the car to a long drawn out stab me in the eye with a sharp stick please trip for a new living room suite and exactly the right fabric and upholstery for the new couch. I shouldn't complain too much its not like this wasn't an informative trip. I did find out that I must not have a very discerning ass since I couldn't really tell that the particular couch I was trying desperately to sink into the cushions on and disappear from view for at least a little was ever so slightly less comfortable than the 27 other ones we'd tried so far and that I obviously also have zero sense of color coordination. I'm quite sure that not a single one of the print/solid combos I suggested was seriously considered (yes, I did try to contribute for after I started to root for the football team in red on the fake television used to fill out the entertainment center display I figured I should likely move on.) At first I thought I was doing well, but after a bit I noticed that I was starting to get looks of disdain and then I think I heard either Kris or the salesperson mumble something about, 'why the hell is he here?' which was really my point exactly.

But as there was more cheering up to do we weren't done. Day 2 dawned with the specter of yet more joy brought on through retail bliss. This time though the gloves were off. It was time for the Baby Registry.

For the first time, but I'm oh so very positive not the last, I set foot inside that compillation of all things tiny tot (though I wish it were tater tot) related - Babies 'R Us. You'd think that the cute little 'R would help endear this bastion of baby related products to me. Nope.

Things started off innocently enough. A large sign welcomed us to the Registry Registration table. A well ensconced young lady sat us down and went over all that the store had to offer and things we should consider for our new addition. She was pleasant enough with her glazed over expression and monotone delivery only perhaps hinting at the excitement she was feeling inside for our new arrival; her love of all things babyized; and her commitment to a long and fruitful career in this little slice of heaven. With a last flurry of sloth like activity she brought forth that wonderful gun with which to scan bar codes and as has been done for generation (yes, singular, not only did they not have fun bar code guns, dads seem to have somehow gotten themselves out of these sorts of things in the past, perhaps it really was the greatest generation) handed it with care to the father to be . In doing so she was really welcoming him to Wonderland -- and trying to trick him into thinking this adventure may still hold some promise since perhaps he'd get to shoot something.

Then it began. Dumbness sets in.

Aisle 1. Child proofing the house. As an aside, this of course will have the added effect of Mike and Kris proofing the house as well and likely lead to the kid's first encounter with naughty language when I can't get to the Oreos one night. So we begin by looking at the some of those cabinet locks at the end of the aisle and it goes something like this:
"Which ones should we get."
"I don't know which one do you think we should get."
"I don't know, how many cabinets are in the new house do you think?
"I don't know, how many do you think there are?"
"I don't know, do you think we should put these on the registry?"
"I don't know, I guess so."
"Okay, so how many should we get?"
"I don't know. What do you think?"
"I don't know. What about these."
"Okay. Oh look, there are 100 more of these down this aisle."

This was the basic gist of a conversation that repeated itself far too frequently during the day. Substitute diaper pail for baby proofing gear and color of the paint for number of cabinets and you get the idea.

So, I point the gun, close my eyes, say a little prayer, and start firing.

Then its off to aisle 2. We're actually able to navigate a few things. Lots of diaper rash creams here. There is one that's "organic." Quick scan it since that bit at least differentiates if from the others and gives us a reason. "Why'd you choose that one?" "Well, it's organic of course." Perfect.

Then its potty time. Not time to choose a potty, that's still a ways off (umm, I think anyway), but time for Kris to make run since being preggy certainly pushes that button often. No problem, I'm a soon-to-be-dad of the 21st Century and I'll do some of this on my own.

Aisle 3. Bottles.

I don't believe I've ever stared at something with as dumbfounded an expression for as long as I did at that wall of bottles. My eyes got as big as saucers and I was completely frozen. If I didn't move maybe the bottles wouldn't see me and I could dart out when some other unsuspecting not-quite-yet-a-dad wondered in unaware of what waited on that wall.

I started to pick them up. I started to read. "Most life-like nipple," said one. "No PBAs!" touted another. "4 out of 5 babies choose this bottle for babies that use bottles," noted a third. "Oprah's favorite!" on one even. Now, I don't know what the hell Oprah is doing sucking on baby bottles, perhaps thats something she and Steadman are into.

There was even one that touted "most breast-like look and feel." Now of course, this I needed to investigate as its only the best for my boy! I open 'er up and sure enough its a bottle that looks like a boob. If boobs were clear that is. It was definitely a little fake feeling though which certainly took away some points. On the upside though it was perky.

Probably obviously, this was the highlight of the day as then it was on to strollers, play pens, swings, toys to hang from things, diaper pails, bedding. Somehow or other we did manage to avoid all contact with the breast pumps on this little venture which was nice, but I'm sure was actually due to a wrinkle in the space-time continuum and will be remedied in the not so distance future.

Four hours later and we've covered half the store. HALF! Then, as if a prayer had been answered, a voice from above boomed out, "The store is closing in 5 minutes, please bring all your baby related crap to the register so we can over charge you for it" or something like that.

Four minutes and 30 seconds later Kris disengaged from the bedding display and we made our way to the front of the store. The nice young animatron in the Reg Reg downloaded the gun, informed us that there was a bunch of stuff we didn't have on there that we really needed to get from B R Us to ensure that the child didn't grow up an imbalanced mess and sent us on our way.

Luckily there was just enough time left before closing for one purchase.

C'mon, its not like I wasn't coming home without one of those perky booby bottles. I mean how great will it be to get that hand up in the feed zone?!?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Run, Don't Walk

Some info is up, more good stuff to come - click the tractor.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Here we go again

Another month gone by and me with nothing at all interesting or at the very least amusing for me to post - 'cause in the end its all about me.

But, since there are some things going down in about a month or so, I figure I oughta pipe up a bit.

The Stage Race and Festival Weekend is coming! Tell your friends! Spread the word!

The jist is the same as its been for the past four years. Just the baddest mountain bike weekend ever!!

The big news for this year is that we're doing something a bit different with the points that we have in the past. Just like its always been, for the non-xc races in the stage race you will race as part of a combined field designated A or B in your appropriate ability/experience category.

What is different this year is that we are no longer awarding "bonus" points. The points this year that are awarded for the stage race (which is still the ITT/STXC/HC combo) are (the equivalent of) a fully dropable XC event. So, you don't just get extra points for showing up that another racer is unable to catch up to you no matter what.

However, what is also different this year is that we will be separating out every age group category in the stage race for MASS points. (Note that we will NOT be separating these groups for race day prizes or the overall awards - its a combo category for the stage events.)

This means that if you are the only person in your category to race the stage race events and you place LAST OVERALL in your stage race group you will receive FIRST PLACE MASS POINTS in your MASS category!! We can only do this because we are using the chip timing and the chips allow us to separate every individual racer into the appropriate bucket. It aint cheap, but its worth it!

So, you do the Betty's Tasty Buttons STXC, the Lupine Night TT, and the Your Name Here Hill Climb and you have a shot at full on first place MASS XC points in your category for those events. This is just one more reason you do not want to miss the MTB Stage Race and Festival Weekend!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Flying by (Rocktober Too)

Time flies when you're having fun.

Or trying to pull together two races, a jr devo camp, and taking care of the team stuff.

Or working way to much and attempting to train for Mohican.

Or shopping for a house.

Or expecting a baby.

Some of the above is sorta fun, some not so much, and some really really fun! It pretty much varies daily with what's which why, but in general its good, just a wee bit busy.

So, to everyone I've neglected for the past month, I'm sorry. Of course, that will not prevent me from neglecting you for another 8 to 12 weeks, but I do apologize. But I'll still neglect you.

Anyway - Rocktober stuff! This went out on the MASS lists and such so you may already know a about it, but some info about the race next weekend:

I know, I know, yinzers have probably been very happy that I've kept my big yap shut so far this year but some news about the Rocktober Challenge for you -

1. Prereg gets more expensive on the 10th and then closes and then gets absolutely ludicrous on race day. Seriously, I'm a complete jerk and am ripping you off on race day since you can't take time to prereg. So, take a couple minutes and go to to get signed up.

2. The course is a wee bit longer than 100K. More like one hundred and eleventy K or there abouts. There is a very small chance we'll cut out a piece, but that would throw off the aid station plan and we'd lose some of the stellar trail we've been working on for you. If you're coming you're already figuring on being out there all day long anyway so this is just more of a good time. Really I'm giving you even more for your money! You should so be thanking me.

3. If you are planning on coming up you should know that the RB Winter campground is rapidly filling up. There are several other camp grounds close to the venue and the closest hotels can be found in Lewisburg which is about 25-30 min away. should be able to help you find alternate lodging. By I don't mean Ray or Wes or Mike or Ry but rather by visiting the website at However, your best way to get directions to the race is through our race site.

Please help spread the word to your team mates who don't have hours of their lives to waste sitting in front of a computer chatting on the MASS forums.

See you all at French Creek - do your anti-rain jig!

event and team stuff ---
the folks that let us do what we do ---

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

It is three, I think.

some visiting with the folks and celebrated my sister's boys' birthdays, which happen to lie on April 6 and 7. I got to give Parker his first bike (sorta) which made me a happy uncle and Pearson kept us very entertained as he enjoyed birthday numero uno by diving headfirst into a bright red iced hunk of cake.

Momma Kuhn pulled out the stops for these kids and made the cake to beat all cakes and make a couple young boys awfully happy. Well, I guess Pearson won't remember it, but Parker was enthralled. The cake was a train. Not a train in icing on the cake, but a freakin' train. Actually it was two cakes since mom can't play favorites. Each was 5 cars long. Each car was a piece of cake about the size of a brick. Each car was a different color. The engine had a marshmallow smokestack with curly candles for smoke and in the engineer's seat was a photo of one of the boys with a chocolate bar roof and chocolate supports. A blue "log" car hauled a load of Tootsie Rolls and another car carried "coal" in the form of dark chocolate Raisinettes. The wheels were either chocolate or vanilla Oreos or rolled black licorice. The tracks were those wafer sugar cookies alternating between chocolate and vanilla too. The train couplers were pieces of red licorice. My favorite though was the circus car with a graham cracker roof iced in green and decorated in M&Ms supported by pretzel sticks forming the cage to hold the Animal Cracker beasties. Damn!!!

Parker was amazed. Mom asked Parker which car he wanted and of course the engine was the first choice. Mom then asked Parker which car she could eat. Parker said "Pearson's."

Anyone notice in my previous post that I'm the biggest I've been since high school...I just can't figure out why...

On a completely different note, but something I think I mentioned before, I really like seeing people I've not seen in a long time at these things.

Pete Ray, and old friend from my Team Harrisburg days was back out to race his bike after a long time away. It turns out he'd been to the farm in the intervening years when he treated Howdy after he'd fallen from his tree stand a few years ago and busted up his back. Small world I guess.

Mike Peters of the recent editions of the Harrisburg Criterium stopped in and was one of those who I didn't get to visit with at all. It was nice to see him come out in support of his road buds on the Faulkner Honda racing team. Another FHer in attendance was my old PA Pension Planners teammate (or as VeganRob refered to us, Team FunnyPants) John Cameron and his ever increasing in size family...John and Jen are expecting their second in October. Small world again I guess.

My old bud Chris Kuhl paid a visit too and even tried a lap or two of the course. I'm lucky enough to run into Chris a few times a year, most recently in Arizona, and he also volunteered some time to help set up the course a few days earlier so while I do get to see him its not often enough.

Of course all yinzers and bubsers were super sweet to see again and here's to hoping there's a lot more of seeing you all this summer.

One race down. Rocktober, the Stage Race, and Iron Cross to go.

Relay Weekend - 1 down, three (or is it four?) to go

That was a busy freakin' weekend. The relay, I thought, was freakin' sweet. Not perfect. But sweet. Of course, I may be slightly biased.

I've said it before, but I do love seeing people I've not seen in a very long time come out to these things. Unfortunately I never get much of chance to talk with anyone and when I do take a few moments I'm usually pulled away before we get much of a chance to catch up. If you happen to be someone I started to talk with and then suddenly veered away when my attention was diverted by some shiny object over your shoulder or off in the distance I apologize. Hopefully I'll get to catch up with at an event I don't have to run. If I can actually get to one of those.

I'm planning to make some appearances at On the Rocks at French Creek and over at Faticus's Granogue and in general be around a bit more than I have been in a few years. I'm also hoping more racing helps to rid me of this ever expanding growth around my mid-section. I'm thinking of buying the right's to Faticus's blog or at least leasing the name...though I hope not to keep it too long. I too like cookies far too much as well.

Still contemplating Cohutta. The very kind folks down that way gave me a special exemption since I actually pulled a top 10 from somewhere very deep in my nether regions last spring at their event. They said, "top 10? hells yea, come on back." I hate to disappoint and turn that top 10 into a top 50% as I'm figuring I may do since I've not ridden longer than an hour or two just a few times this winter. Ah heck, as Ry said, its not like I'll stay here and ride for 8 hours that day so I probably should go. 12 hours down, 8 hours of racing, 12 hours back. Sounds like a good weekend, no?

Spent some time doing some other stuff this weekend too as we squeezed in

Okay, I'm way late for work and shouldn't be writing this right now. More later.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Need Team Racer

I've a plea from a couple guys looking for a couple racers for the relay this weekend. Contact me if you are interested in racing or know someone else who is and I'll put you in touch with them.

Also we're up to something like 260 riders!! Holy crap.

Just finished up press releases to a bunch of local to the race media and now its time for bed so I can get a little sleep to be ready for all y'all. Its unlikely any of the news crews will show, but what the heck might as well give it a whirl and maybe you'll be lucky enough to get a few seconds of fame crashing your brains out on the new way fast log (if I keep it in there).

Relay Update

Please check over on our visitpadotcommtbteam blog - you can get to this easily through - for the latest on the US Open Relay this coming weekend. Things are pretty much set and we're looking forward to your arrival.

Monday, March 31, 2008

News from the Great White North

Up to the minute report rolling in from our ground troop and embedded reporter at the Rocktober Challenge venue in RB Winter State Park and Bald Eagle State Forest.

It appears that the surge is working and we're getting closer and closer to clearing the remaining vestiges of unnavigable singletrack...


From somewhere in the deep PA wilderness...

..........George Hackenbush created singletrack.

Stony Hollow - cleared out and rideable.
Old Tram - cut out those 2 trees (the ground shook when they fell)
South Bear Creek - FUN TRAIL!!!! Heim and I cleared all logs off of the trail. A leaf blower is a must in our opinion. It would be a wickedly fast trail if it were wind blown.

You will have to navigate a stream crossing before heading back up the mountain.

Let me know if there is anything else up there. Planning on riding the 1st loop in the near future.



Fausto and Hackenbush - as they say back home --- yinzers rawk!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Calling Ms. Toeclips and some stuff on Rocktober

Ry will have a whole bunch of new stuff up on HSC in the near future regarding May's Rocktober Challenge. I know this because I just finished updating it all and if he doesn't want the cat to keep vomiting in his room he'll have to get the info up on the site.

Actually, this isn't a real good threat as the cat just cleans up after himself most times anyway. Don't follow? The cat likes "pre-digested" meals. Still not getting it? He eats his own puke. Yummy. At least there isn't much to clean up.

Enough about our cat's regurgitative exploits.

On the Rocktober note, I'll be headed up that way (to RB Winter) a few times between the running of the US Open Relay next weekend and Rocktober to do some trail maintenance. If'n any of you would like to earn some credits toward a Rocktober entry and want to accompany me (or meet me there) drop a note and let me know and we'll have a good ol time cutting back that laurel.

Below is an almost completely useless image of the map of the Rocktober course. If you get out a magnifying glass you can probably make out that there are colors and lines on the map. We will be riding trails that are noted by those lines. There are other colors that make it look like there are ridges on the map. These are ridges. We'll ride over a bunch of them. I think we'll be able to get this up in a .pdf version up on as soon as Ry makes his way back to HSC HQ here in Center Valley from his third home in NYC. Yellow = loop 1, Orange = loop 2, Green = loop 3. (If you click on the map it should get a lot bigger and that will help...)

Anyone know how to get hold of Alice B Toeclips? I tried blogging her back on one blog, but that didn't seem to work and I can't get her email address from her blog to open for me at home because I don't know squat about making Outlook work here since its all synced up for work and stuff. I bet there are some instructions some where that probably tell me how to do such a thing, but like I'm going to read something as useless as the help information that comes with this computer.

Never mind, I just left a comment on her blog, that oughta do it. Forget I said anything.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Weekend update

Gottta start by thanking the people who stood up and took credit for the anonymous emails I published for your enjoyment. They apologized and I appreciate it. I was annoyed because of the anonymity bit, but that's it there was nothing else in it. Hopefully some of this stuff comes across with a bit of humor as its intended.

Spent Sunday working at RB Winter with the team and some guest help in the form of Mike Faust and Heim. We're getting the trails in shape for the Rocktober Challenge in May and things look pretty darn good so far. The new course is going to be way painful but beautiful.

RB was supposed to be the wrap up to a team training weekend in State College. I was supposed to be in State College all weekend - had time off from work and everything - and then wasted it all by getting sick on Thursday and not going up til Sunday AM. I'm still bummed as I was really looking forward to the weekend with the team and it sounds like they had a great time riding together. Wes, Ray, Nancy, and I did get out on the RB Winter network a bit today and that was peachy. With my job I find it very difficult to get out with these guys and I hardly raced at all in '07 so it would have been great fun to spend the weekend hitting those wonderful trails in Rothrock with 'em. Ah well, next time I guess.

I did get to ride the new Cannondale Scalpel on the rocks at RB and to quote Ferris, it is so choice. I've been jonesin' for full suspension since we switched from Cannondale the last time and I'm very pleased to be back on what is definitely one of the best handling XC bikes available. We're on Old Tram today and I'm just floating though it like I've not been able to do for two years. Yea, there are some places where you don't need full suspension, but I mostly prefer to ride places where you do. I'm not quite the weight weenie the other guys are so Ray or Hebe will probably come up with the lightest version of this thing, but every time I pick mine up I can't believe its suspended on both ends. Stay tuned to Hebe's blog to see just how light one of these can be.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Fun with email

I so don't have time to post this, but I thought yinzers would get a kick out of some emails I received regarding the team relay. More honestly, I thought I'd get a kick out of posting them here and you could like it or not -I don't care that much. As posted here previously, the cost of the relay has gone up - $10/person more than last year if you pre-reg and if you have to wait until the day of the race it goes up to $20/person because you're being a pain in my ass. Seriously, its not like it increases my costs to have you reg day of, but if you all do that stuff ahead of time everything in much smoother come race day. Pre-reg'ing makes it so I don't have to take my already overworked family and volunteers and spread them thinner by putting more of them on registration duty. So, it may not cost more, but its a hell of a lot easier if you take a few minutes and pre-reg and you're rewarded for it by not getting stuck with the extra fee.

I digress. Here are those emails and my responses. I love being a race promoter.

Note: I really appreciate that these folks manned up and didn't sign their names because it definitely shows maturity and takes major balls to complain about something anonymously.

----------------------- Email #1 --------------------------------

On Tue, Mar 18, 2008 at 6:17 PM, wrote:
EVENT NAME: US Open MTB Team Relay
EVENT DATE: 4/6/2008

Why are your entry fees so exorbitant?

Pronunciation: \-tənt\
Function: adjective
1 : not coming within the scope of the law
2 : exceeding the customary or appropriate limits in intensity, quality,
amount, or size

------------ Response ---------------------


Wow, I'm pretty impressed, it seems Sesame Street is really upping their selections when it comes to introducing children to new vocabulary. Your mommy is probably quite proud of you and don't get me wrong, she should be - that's a BIG word!! I bet you even got a gold star didn't you?!?! What a good boy!! I certainly appreciate you sharing this with me as I don't have much time to watch children's shows these days.

How big is GTRider?? This big!!! How big is GTRider??

Not very really.

Thanks for writing,

---------------------------- Email #2 -----------------------------

EVENT NAME: US Open MTB Team Relay
EVENT DATE: 4/6/2008

why do your entry fees go beyond what is right or decent?

----------------------- Response --------------------------------

Dear Ravaged,

That's pretty awesome that you can set up an email address that says what you are.

Here are some more you should add to your list:

I have a solution for you, just give your mom a call and see if she can foot the bill for you. Again. I mean she's already covering your rent, utilities, and food and while living in the basement with bead curtains for doors may not seem that great I'm sure that I'll be paying you to come to the event as soon as you go pro. Then you'll get the last laugh. Just convince your mom that going to the race will be fun and it can take the place of your "dinner and a movie" weekly excursions, I'm sure she'll go for it.

Thanks and looking forward to meeting your mom,

-------------------------Email #3 ---------------------------------

EVENT NAME: US Open MTB Team Relay
EVENT DATE: 4/6/2008

why do all your events have such outrageous entry fees?

----------------------Response -------------------------------------

(This was actually the first of the three and I actually responded nicely to this one...yep, I can now and then.)

Dear Sweatshopking

Only because that's what it costs to run them.

Last year we had less than $500 left after running the Relay and this year we are bringing in chip timing that will cost us $1000-$1500 because people asked for lap times for every racer. The Rocktober Challenge lost money last year -- now, I gave out prizes over 50 places deep (and they were pretty good prizes) and fed everyone darn good food after the race and maybe I shouldn't have, but that's what I want at my races and people appreciate it. Literally everyone who did that race got to pick something off the prize table. Its plain and simple - if I don't at least cover these costs then the races don't happen. You might disagree with this next part, but I feel I ought to make at least a little money because they take an awful lot of time and effort and they take time away from my family and my riding and all sorts of other things I could be doing. I put on really good events that I feel are some of the best around - and there are a lot of people that concur - but it costs a lot to do so.



Okay, so I actually didn't reply directly to the first two, only the last one, which was actually the first one in order of arrival in my inbox. These don't deserve responses, but they do deserve to be posted on my blog so that I have some sort of content for this half the month and so I can respond here in my little world.

Why don't they deserve direct responses? First because he/she/they are too damn wussified to leave a name with the complaint. Second because they could all well be the same person and I'm guessing are since at least two of the addresses are lame fake ones. In fact, I'm guessing that this person is also greatly mourning the death of Gygax and has set up a shrine in his honor and that his MMORPG character has led to this
since he must spend way too much time starting at a computer screen to figure out how to set up fake lame email addresses. (Kenny, if this is you I'm going to kick your ass.)

If $30/person is really too much you probably shouldn't be racing a bike. If it's breaking your bank then I bet you and your imaginary dates have hella fun at taco bell so you can keep the bill low and save on tips. Spending thousands in travel expenses to and from races and thousands more in time in training and racing when you could be working and earning money makes zero sense when $30 is such a burden. The thousands you've spent on your bike are probably keeping you from eating what with your level of poverty, but I'm sure the XTR cranks, XO shifters, and new stans wheels you bought so you can drag your out of shape undertrained slow ass around the course on a 16.24 lb bike are definitely worth it. Particularly since you can't afford to race it now.

Okay, so here's the thing. The relay is a great event, it is definitely fun, and IMO its worth $30 or more/person. If you really feel like its too much then vote with your feet and don't show up. If not enough people show I'll have to revamp it and probably scale it back for next year so that I cut costs and maybe then I'd drop it back to $20/person, but you wouldn't get the timing and other awards and stuff. I'm willing to do what people want. Racers last year told me they wanted individual lap times so here we are.

Making real suggestions and offering constructive criticism is always not only accepted, but encouraged. Actually trying to help improve the event with thoughtful feedback makes you someone a promoter respects and appreciates. Being a complete f'ing ass and sending immature and whiny emails that you are too chickenshit to sign only makes you a douche.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Relay Rassin'

Ry is still working hard on the website and it will be up soon, but here's the scoop on the US Open Relay that kicks off the MASS next month. There is very little that has changed except that I've cut the points in half that are awarded for each lap...instead of 8 its now 4 (see how that whole half thing worked? Pretty slick, no?).

In my very unscientific and completely unverified reworking of the points for this year I just plugged everything from last year into a spreadsheet, messed with the lap points, and viola! new points scheme that is sure to make some of you happy and piss a bunch more of you off. Either way, this should make things much tighter and more exciting right to the end and that's the whole point because it ain't about who wins this as much as its about who has the most fun and how rich I get off promoting it. A few hundred more races promoted and I'll be a thousandaire!! And Kris said this was a big #*@*ing waste of my time. Pfff, shows you what she knows.

That being said, I am sticking it to you all with higher prices on the relay this year. The extra dough is going toward some of those other prizes I mentioned in the last post and the chip timing - which you all will appreciate in the end because it will be cool to have your split times and see all the race laps so don't whine too much about the $$.

I was going to save the money and get some potato chips (probably kettle cooked, they are my favorite!!) and have you tape them to your helmets for the race and say I had chip timing and charge you a lot more, but one or two of you probably would have figured out the chips didn't really help with the timing and a few others would have eaten the chips and still been scored and then the whole cover is blown, so instead its real timing chips for you. Yay.

Now, who wants to chip in on a crowd prime for the fastest lap?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Where the hell have you been??

More dead air. Lots and lots of dead air. I haven't had a damn thing to say in two months. As most anyone reading this knows -- of course that can't be true! I'm an opinionated ass and I've been running at the mouth like I always do I just wasn't motivated to lay it down here.

Lets look back shall we: Christmas, New Years, skate ski weekend in NY, Colorado Springs for USAC, my Birthday, Tucson with Dr. Wilson, and Poppa Kuhn's back operation. Okay, now that we're all caught up...

There is some stuff on the horizon that is important for any of you mtb racers in the region stopping by for event info. Again in 2008 this is where all the HighSpeedCycling/ event updates and news will be posted. However, you'll need to continue to frequent for the actual event details and information. So, check HSC for the main gist of things and here for my BS and event updates. Why make you go to two places? Just be glad its not three.

Ry's been working hard to put together a new look for the HSC site which is why there isn't any 2008 event info up just yet. I'm way stoked about the new site and I think yinzers will like it too. Keep checking back - I'm pushing him to get this thing up and running asap, he's putting up with it very nicely. It is a very delicate balance what with him crashing here at the Kuhn abode. If he gives me any lip I'll put his ass out on the street, but of course then there is no new kick ass website for you - as you can probably imagine, its as tense as an impacted bowel around here.

I keed, I keed, me and Ry did a little snow riding today in the four inches of fluff and got completely worked pushing all that powder around. Good times.

Lets talk events...The US Open relay is the up first and it is basically the same as last year though I will be tweaking the handicapping slightly based on last year's results. The idea is to make this thing so every team has a shot at the victory and last year was a little too elite skewed...we'll play with the numbers and bit and probably flub it but at least we're trying so how about a little credit?

I'm looking at adding some other awards too for things like "Most Elaborate and Extravagent Pit," "Best Dressed Team," and "Most Expensive Gift given to Promoter." This sort of stuff will go up at that other place where you're supposed to go to check out the team's races (if you're not sure where please re-read this post and take better notes).