Fun with email

I so don't have time to post this, but I thought yinzers would get a kick out of some emails I received regarding the team relay. More honestly, I thought I'd get a kick out of posting them here and you could like it or not -I don't care that much. As posted here previously, the cost of the relay has gone up - $10/person more than last year if you pre-reg and if you have to wait until the day of the race it goes up to $20/person because you're being a pain in my ass. Seriously, its not like it increases my costs to have you reg day of, but if you all do that stuff ahead of time everything in much smoother come race day. Pre-reg'ing makes it so I don't have to take my already overworked family and volunteers and spread them thinner by putting more of them on registration duty. So, it may not cost more, but its a hell of a lot easier if you take a few minutes and pre-reg and you're rewarded for it by not getting stuck with the extra fee.

I digress. Here are those emails and my responses. I love being a race promoter.

Note: I really appreciate that these folks manned up and didn't sign their names because it definitely shows maturity and takes major balls to complain about something anonymously.

----------------------- Email #1 --------------------------------

On Tue, Mar 18, 2008 at 6:17 PM, wrote:
EVENT NAME: US Open MTB Team Relay
EVENT DATE: 4/6/2008
EVENT PAGE: http://www.BikeReg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=6044

Why are your entry fees so exorbitant?

ex·or·bi·tant
Pronunciation: \-tənt\
Function: adjective
1 : not coming within the scope of the law
2 : exceeding the customary or appropriate limits in intensity, quality,
amount, or size

------------ Response ---------------------

Dear GTRider125@aol.com,

Wow, I'm pretty impressed, it seems Sesame Street is really upping their selections when it comes to introducing children to new vocabulary. Your mommy is probably quite proud of you and don't get me wrong, she should be - that's a BIG word!! I bet you even got a gold star didn't you?!?! What a good boy!! I certainly appreciate you sharing this with me as I don't have much time to watch children's shows these days.

How big is GTRider?? This big!!! How big is GTRider??

Not very really.

Thanks for writing,
Mike

---------------------------- Email #2 -----------------------------

financially.ravaged@brokefromracing.com

EVENT NAME: US Open MTB Team Relay
EVENT DATE: 4/6/2008
EVENT PAGE: http://www.BikeReg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=6044

why do your entry fees go beyond what is right or decent?

----------------------- Response --------------------------------

Dear Ravaged,

That's pretty awesome that you can set up an email address that says what you are.

Here are some more you should add to your list:

thinkimpro@sponsoredbymom.com
imadouche@whiners.org
nothingbettertodo@wasteyourtime.com
waaawaaawaa@bigbaby.com
lightnexpensivebik@imabegginer.net

I have a solution for you, just give your mom a call and see if she can foot the bill for you. Again. I mean she's already covering your rent, utilities, and food and while living in the basement with bead curtains for doors may not seem that great I'm sure that I'll be paying you to come to the event as soon as you go pro. Then you'll get the last laugh. Just convince your mom that going to the race will be fun and it can take the place of your "dinner and a movie" weekly excursions, I'm sure she'll go for it.


Thanks and looking forward to meeting your mom,
Mike

-------------------------Email #3 ---------------------------------

sweatshopking@enter.net

EVENT NAME: US Open MTB Team Relay
EVENT DATE: 4/6/2008
EVENT PAGE: http://www.BikeReg.com/events/register.asp?EventID=6044

why do all your events have such outrageous entry fees?

----------------------Response -------------------------------------

(This was actually the first of the three and I actually responded nicely to this one...yep, I can now and then.)

Dear Sweatshopking

Only because that's what it costs to run them.

Last year we had less than $500 left after running the Relay and this year we are bringing in chip timing that will cost us $1000-$1500 because people asked for lap times for every racer. The Rocktober Challenge lost money last year -- now, I gave out prizes over 50 places deep (and they were pretty good prizes) and fed everyone darn good food after the race and maybe I shouldn't have, but that's what I want at my races and people appreciate it. Literally everyone who did that race got to pick something off the prize table. Its plain and simple - if I don't at least cover these costs then the races don't happen. You might disagree with this next part, but I feel I ought to make at least a little money because they take an awful lot of time and effort and they take time away from my family and my riding and all sorts of other things I could be doing. I put on really good events that I feel are some of the best around - and there are a lot of people that concur - but it costs a lot to do so.

Thanks,
Mike

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so I actually didn't reply directly to the first two, only the last one, which was actually the first one in order of arrival in my inbox. These don't deserve responses, but they do deserve to be posted on my blog so that I have some sort of content for this half the month and so I can respond here in my little world.

Why don't they deserve direct responses? First because he/she/they are too damn wussified to leave a name with the complaint. Second because they could all well be the same person and I'm guessing are since at least two of the addresses are lame fake ones. In fact, I'm guessing that this person is also greatly mourning the death of Gygax and has set up a shrine in his honor and that his MMORPG character has led to this
since he must spend way too much time starting at a computer screen to figure out how to set up fake lame email addresses. (Kenny, if this is you I'm going to kick your ass.)

If $30/person is really too much you probably shouldn't be racing a bike. If it's breaking your bank then I bet you and your imaginary dates have hella fun at taco bell so you can keep the bill low and save on tips. Spending thousands in travel expenses to and from races and thousands more in time in training and racing when you could be working and earning money makes zero sense when $30 is such a burden. The thousands you've spent on your bike are probably keeping you from eating what with your level of poverty, but I'm sure the XTR cranks, XO shifters, and new stans wheels you bought so you can drag your out of shape undertrained slow ass around the course on a 16.24 lb bike are definitely worth it. Particularly since you can't afford to race it now.

Okay, so here's the thing. The relay is a great event, it is definitely fun, and IMO its worth $30 or more/person. If you really feel like its too much then vote with your feet and don't show up. If not enough people show I'll have to revamp it and probably scale it back for next year so that I cut costs and maybe then I'd drop it back to $20/person, but you wouldn't get the timing and other awards and stuff. I'm willing to do what people want. Racers last year told me they wanted individual lap times so here we are.

Making real suggestions and offering constructive criticism is always not only accepted, but encouraged. Actually trying to help improve the event with thoughtful feedback makes you someone a promoter respects and appreciates. Being a complete f'ing ass and sending immature and whiny emails that you are too chickenshit to sign only makes you a douche.